


We were always meant to say goodbye

by Elisexyz



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode s02e05: The Kennedy Curse, F/M, Internal Conflict, Introspection, Minor Wyatt Logan/Lucy Preston
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-12 03:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19939381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisexyz/pseuds/Elisexyz
Summary: Jessica contemplates leaving the team, because she doesn't think she can complete the mission anyway.Lucy talks her out of it (not that she needed much convincing to begin with).





	We were always meant to say goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love writing Jessica, and the world needs more Wyjess fic if you ask me, so. Here we are.  
>    
>  Jessica's feelings here are kinda connected with her feelings in [this other one-shot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19714531). I think that this one is understandable on its own, but I'm linking to it just in case: I wrote this one with the other one in mind, so if something leaves you a little confused that might be the reason why.  
>  Title from [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybnKhWQiMjk).

She can’t do this.

She now knows it with terrifying clarity: she _can’t_ do this.

Over the years, Jessica managed to convince herself that she’d be able to do this, that she’d look at Wyatt in the eye and lie, betray him, stab him in the back and finally let out all her anger at their broken marriage. And if she were dealing with the same Wyatt that she last saw months ago, then she’d have probably been right.

But now—

He came back looking at her like she holds the moon and the stars and the sun in her hands, with so much _longing_ that it’s hard to breathe, he came back looking like the _old_ Wyatt, reminiscing about happy memories, beaming at her every two seconds, wanting her by his side and nothing more in the world.

When she found herself witnessing a show-down between him and Emma, when she was supposed to have difficulties pretending to be incapable, she actually spent most of the time frozen in place. Watching. Listening to her heart throbbing, keenly aware that it will come a day when she will have to look at _this_ Wyatt and shoot him down without a second thought.

She doesn’t think she can.

Lucy is a good excuse.

Jessica isn’t _lying_ , she can see that there’s _something_ there, and although she wants to understand, she wants to rationalize that he was a widower, not an husband anymore, she wants to be _grateful_ that she has an excuse to begin with, that old throb of jealousy won’t leave her.

It could be worse, though, she can live with that.

(Much better than she can live with the thought of betraying Wyatt – this Wyatt, _her_ Wyatt; a stranger, but at the same time closer to the man she loves than he’s been in too long.)

She walks away, feeling her eyes sting and her heart ache at the thought of Wyatt’s reaction, of the _hurt_ on his face— she can’t wait for a goodbye, because he’d beg her to stay, and she’d cave. How could she not? She has spent so much time wishing to have all this back, trying to and failing at talking herself into believing that their failure as a couple was for the best because they were doomed anyway, and now she _has_ him, he is there and he loves her so much— and she’s walking away.

She has to hope that Wyatt won’t chase after her, that his teammates will manage to prevent him from being so stupid.

(They likely _won’t_ manage, and the thought is a little bit comforting, even though it shouldn’t be. This is for the best.)

She will say that he doesn’t love her anymore. She will say that he and Lucy got together in the other timeline, and that she doesn’t think that the plan will work. That Wyatt is all too wary of her, way too lost in this thing with Lucy, that she hasn’t been given enough rope to work with— she can sell this.

A bunch of half-truths held together with little lies. It isn’t like she could complete the mission anyway, right? Aborting the whole thing is going to do less damage than failing. Rittenhouse surely has other ways to take the team down.

(And maybe she can live with that, if she doesn’t have to _see_ it. If she doesn’t have to _do_ it.)

(She swallows down her shame at her own weakness, when she should only be focused on the pursuit of the greater good. With the world in balance, you should never bargain for one man.)

She didn’t think Lucy would stop her: she accounted only for Wyatt, that’s why she didn’t wait for him..

“When we went to 1962, Vegas, Wyatt sent you a telegram from Western Union,” Lucy begins, resolutely.

“Like in ‘Back to the future’?” Jessica echoes without fully meaning to, frowning as she pictures this easily, Wyatt traveling through time and thinking of movies like the nerd that he will never admit to being, trying to pull off this ridiculousness and somehow believing it, if only a little.

“Yes, like in ‘Back to the future’,” Lucy confirms, a little amused herself. She sobers up. “But it didn’t work. So then he stole the Lifeboat to try and go back and stop your killer from every being born, but it didn’t work either.” Jessica stands, frozen in place, listening with her heart racing and her stomach tied in knots. “And he got court-martialled for it too.”

“He did?” she asks, her voice thin. She can feel her resolution evaporating with every word, with every image of Wyatt fighting like hell for her, with every reminder of how much he loves her – of how much she loves him in return.

“ _Yes_. My point is—” Lucy pauses for a moment, tears prickling in her eyes, and in that moment Jessica sees it, the way this woman loves Wyatt too. They could be happy together, she loves him that much. Enough to beg the man’s wife to stay, solely because she believes it’d make him happy – that’s selfless in a way that Jessica isn’t sure she’ll be capable of being. “Even though you weren’t _there_ , you were always on Wyatt’s mind. He risked his job, his freedom, _everything_ — because he never stopped loving you, not for a second. And all he wants—all he has wanted—is a chance to show you that.”

Jessica pushes back a wave of tears, trying to draw in some air.

She can’t go.

She should.

She will have to betray him anyway. What is best for everybody is that she leaves _now_ —

 _Go, go, go_ —

She gives a shaky nod, because she’s selfish and stupid and maybe she can still salvage this, _somehow_ , and then Wyatt is there, appearing out of nowhere behind Lucy, and Jessica wants to cry with how much she needs to leap forward and kiss him.

(She’s missed him so much.)

It’s with ease and a vague sense of relief that she slips back into the shoes of Jessica The Bartender, feigning surprise at Wyatt’s escape, pushing away thoughts of Rittenhouse and only hesitating once when Lucy asks for confirmation that she has been successfully swayed.

Wyatt is there. Jessica knows that she can’t leave with Wyatt there to witness it, to try and stop her.

She nods again, swallowing the lump in her throat and walking up to the passenger’s seat before Lucy can read on her face how badly she is screwing up right now.

She is a traitor to both sides, playing on borrowed time.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including: 
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> If you don’t want a reply, for any reason, feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!


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